MLIA is a website "My Life Is Average" that has random thoughts in it. Here are some brilliant quotes from there.
Today, my teacher saw me texting under the desk and grabbed my phone. She didnt grab my penis. MLIA.
Today, I had to choose between a strawberry flavored Dum Dum and a mystery flavored Dum Dum. I decided to be adventurous and choose the mystery flavor; it was strawberry flavored. MLIA
Today, I put my iPod on shuffle. I skipped most of the songs to get to the ones I like. MLIA
Today, my mom told me to clean my room because the cleaning lady is coming tomorrow. I'm still confused. MLIA
Today, I started thinking about how they should make chocolate flavored skittles. Then I realized they would be M&Ms. MLIA
Today, our guest speaker at school gave out pens that "never write lies". I decided to test it out and wrote "2+2=". As I was writing "5", the pen stopped working. MLIA
Today, my roommate and her guy friend walked into our dorm room while I was in my bathrobe. I was embarrassed because I was naked under the bathrobe. Then I realized that I'm always naked underneath what I'm wearing. MLIA.
Last night, I was in bed and it was silent for a very long time. I got worried and made a noise to make sure I hadn't gone deaf. I felt much better afterwards. MLIA
Today while on my laptop I exited out of a security program. I was then faced with a pop up that read "are you sure you want to continue without protection?" I clicked yes. I feel naughty. MLIA
Tonight, I was listening to the radio on my way home. “Heartless” by Kanye West came on, a few seconds into the song, the DJ stopped it and said “just kidding!” and proceeded to play “You Belong with Me” by Taylor Swift. This made my whole day. MLIA
Today, at church, the Priest asked all the fathers to stand for Father's Day. I stood up to freak my mother out. It worked. MLIA
Today, my 12-year-old Twilight obsessed little sister told me she wanted a life sized picture of Edward Cullen to put up on her wall. Since she's always telling me how much better Twilight is than Harry Potter, I decided to get her a life sized picture of Cedric Diggory instead. MLIA
Today, my mom called me a "son of a bitch". I laughed at the irony. She didn't get it. MLIA
Today I found my Batman costume from second grade. Without thinking I put on the mask and cape. Then my mom yelled up the stairs for me to get the mail. Forgetting I still had the costume on I went outside for the mail. While outside I saw my hot neighbor looking out the window at me. Just as I about to walk into my house he came running out with his Robin mask on. I'm in love. MLIA.
Today, a friend and I had a discussion about dinosaurs and came to the conclusion that t-rexs were only angry and aggressive because their arms were too short to hug one another. MLIA.
Today, I saw a guy who looked just like Harry Potter, but with blonde hair. I shouted, "Bloody hell Harry, when did you go blonde?". He replied, "Hermione, I was just looking for you. Transfiguration class was a bugger. Can you change it back?". I believe I've found my soulmate.
Today, my little brother threatened me by saying that he would tell people I wear underwear. I am really confused as to how that's an actual threat. MLIA
Today, my parents got a new yellow lab puppy. The first thing my 23 year old brother did when he saw her was to lift her up and sing the Circle of Life song from The Lion King. My parents thought he was weird. I was just pissed he thought of it first. MLIA
Today my doctor told me I need to take Steroids for a week. I asked him if it would shrink my testicles. He politely reminded me that I am a girl. MLIA